I’m often told by those close to me that I don’t make any sense when I am in fits of rage. We have all said and done things that we aren’t proud of and I’m no different.

The entire country of India was shaken awake on the morning of 30th November 2019 with the news of a Hyderabad veterinary doctor’s rape and murder. What ensued then we’re sleepless nights punctuated by tears and sobs of helplessness, of anger and the wish to demand half of this planet for half of the world’s population. Because how else can we guarantee safety of women?

Three days later, an actress turned MP, Jaya Bachchan, made a remark in parliament of India that the perpetrators of such heinous crimes against women should be lynched. In that moment, it felt as if there is someone who empathizes, someone who was as pained as I by the incident. For someone who had lost all hope in humanity, it felt like the warm comfort of a much needed hug.

All these months since that incident and several news reports of crimes against women later, I still think about it and wonder if lynching or other forms of creative, violent punishments are really the solution to the problem that plagues our society?

That day when Jaya Bachchan made the statement and I stood in support, several people , men and women, also backed me up. Among them, there was one person who reasoned with me and tried to show me how lynching is really not the solution. She said that if anything, it will further widen the class divide as the rich, influential perpetrators will rarely be subjected to mob justice. What we need as a society is to educate and and get educated. There is no other way.

I was too upset that day. All women were — some by the incident and some by the remark.

I was snapped out of my reverie when all the perpetrators were killed in an “encounter” a few days later without due investigation and trial. Honestly, by then I was too shaken and equally ashamed for being an enabler of the violent thoughts and behaviour. I have been ashamed since…

But not today. Today is the day I own my mistake.

We as a society worked really hard to get ourselves to the point where we are today and we as a society will have to work equally hard to turn it around.

If lynching were the solution, who do you think should get to cast the first stone? For if 100% of women have been subjected to some or the other kind of sexual assault (cat calls, unwelcome touching, unsolicited d!¢k pics, groping, unwelcome dry humping, masturbation in view, attempt to rape, rape, marital rape, rape and murder and more — all these fall in the category of sexual assault ), then do you think that there is even a substantial percentage of men that is guilt-free?

I saw an entire army of men standing in support of that remark and the encounter — when most women can count the decent men in their life in one hand — it begs the question, who are these men?

Are they are a section of #notallmen band in spirit and action or just men with a lust to make a show of their power much like the perpetrators who commit such crimes?